We move through life collecting pain but how can we hold it all
Pain is something none of us can avoid. Whether it comes through loss, disappointment, change, or unexpected challenges, pain has a way of showing up in our lives. But how we carry it can look very different.
Some responses weigh us down. Others give us space to grow. And often, we move between them at different points in our lives.
When Pain Feels Overwhelming
Sometimes pain feels like a boulder we can’t lift. It leaves us stuck, lying under the weight of it. This isn’t weakness — it’s a natural human response when the load feels too heavy.
Whilst other times, we push forward while dragging pain behind us. We still function, but everything feels heavier. Energy drains quickly, and even small steps can take effort.
Dragging pain is often about survival — doing what we can, even if it’s tiring.
There are times when survival is enough. Suffering doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re human
We have to be compassionate to ourselves, and admit we’re doing the best we can under the circumstances.
Analyse It: Trying to Make Sense
It’s natural to want to understand pain. We may examine every detail, replay events, or search for answers. Reflection can bring clarity — but overthinking can also trap us in circles, keeping the rock intact instead of lighter.
Insight is powerful, but it doesn’t always take the weight away.
Sometimes that pain can be a teacher. It can highlight patterns, show us what matters, or even deepen our empathy for others. When we step back, we may see lessons we didn’t expect — not because pain was good, but because we found meaning within it.
Accept It: Allowing What Is
Acceptance isn’t about liking pain or agreeing with it. It’s about laying the rock down for a moment and saying, this is here. Acceptance softens resistance. It allows us to breathe, to stop fighting what already exists.
Sometimes, over time, pain can be reshaped. It can lead to new beginnings, creativity, deeper compassion, or stronger resilience. Transformation doesn’t erase the pain, but it turns the weight into something new — something that carries meaning rather than only heaviness.
Acceptance is not surrender. It’s giving yourself permission to rest.
Rather then always fighting or battling, you can give yourself some space by finding acceptance, but acceptance doesn’t mean defeat, it means giving you the space to rest first, and bring about change later.
We all face pain differently.
At times, we suffer. At others, we drag, analyze, accept, or transform. None of these responses are wrong — they’re simply stages of being human.
Therapy can provide a space to notice how you’re carrying pain right now, and explore ways to ease the weight.
“Pain is heavy, but it doesn’t have to define how you carry it.”
