shortcuts but with implications
Our minds are wired to look for patterns. It’s how we survived long before we had language or cities or anything resembling a to-do list. Pattern-spotting helps us move through the world efficiently: this food is safe, that road is dangerous, these people feel familiar. Grouping things saves time and energy, and in many ways, it’s natural.
But sometimes our minds go too far. We don’t just group — we over-group. We start treating shortcuts as full explanations, and that’s when things get messy. A handful of experiences becomes a “rule.” A single story becomes a narrative about an entire community, identity, or role. That’s where stereotypes begin: tidy boxes that rarely fit the whole truth, yet still try to contain it.
Where Stereotypes Come From
Stereotypes aren’t born in a vacuum. They’re shaped by the messages around us — family beliefs, community norms, schoolyard lessons, media portrayals, and the stories we absorb without realising we’re absorbing them. Some slip in quietly, shaped by repetition rather than accuracy. Others arrive packaged as humour or “common sense,” which only makes them harder to spot.
When something gets repeated often enough, it can settle into the background of our thinking. It becomes easy to mistake familiarity for truth. Even when a stereotype contradicts our own lived experience, it can still influence the lens we use to understand the world.
The Weight of Bias
Bias often works quietly. It can influence how we see others, how we’re seen, and how we see ourselves. Sometimes we internalise stereotypes, believing them to be true about us because we’ve heard them so many times. That can be painful, confusing, or limiting — like living inside a story you didn’t write but keep being cast in.
Bias is human, but so is the courage to notice it, question it, and choose differently. Awareness isn’t about blaming ourselves for the ideas we’ve picked up along the way. It’s about recognising that not everything we’ve learned deserves to be kept. Just because something was taught to us doesn’t mean it’s universal, or fair, or reflective of who we are.
Bias is human — but so is the courage to notice it, question it, and choose differently.
Awareness and openness is always the key. Just because you’ve learnt something, doesn’t mean you see it as a universal truth.
Noticing and Challenging
The first step is noticing. We all hold biases — that doesn’t make us bad, it makes us human. But once we’re aware of them, we can get curious. Where did this come from? Does it reflect reality, or just repetition? Who benefits from this story being told, and who gets reduced by it?
Challenging bias doesn’t require conflict. Sometimes it’s as simple as slowing down before making assumptions, catching ourselves in the middle of a mental shortcut, or choosing to ask a different question. Sometimes it means seeking out voices or experiences that don’t mirror our own. Sometimes it’s about allowing ourselves to sit with complexity instead of rushing toward labels.
Bias loses power when we stop letting it be automatic.
A Place for Reflection
Therapy can help with this too. Not by dictating what’s “right,” but by giving space to trace the stories you’ve carried and understand which ones actually belong to you. Many people walk into therapy holding beliefs that were handed to them long before they had the chance to evaluate them. Sometimes those stories were protective; sometimes they were restrictive.
Exploring stereotypes and biases in a reflective space creates room for something more honest. You get to see yourself and others as complex, real, and fully human — not as a category or a caricature. When those old stories loosen their grip, there’s space for a clearer, more grounded sense of who you are, and who you’re becoming.
