birthdays can also be raw
Birthdays are supposed to be happy — a time for cake, laughter, and celebration — but grief can make them complicated.
Yet for some, a birthday is a painful reminder of someone who isn’t there to celebrate. For others, it’s their own birthday that feels hollow — a day that highlights loneliness, fractured family ties, or memories of trauma.
The Strange Weight of Celebration
When the heart is heavy, celebration can feel impossible. Balloons and candles can’t erase grief. In fact, their brightness can sometimes make the contrast sharper, the absence louder.
My birthday, always marks 9 days before my Dad died, and it dulls any thoughts of celebration
It’s ok to remember those we loved, and honour their loss. I go quiet, but i still live, and move on.
Allowing the “Both”
Happiness doesn’t have to be forced, and grief doesn’t have to be hidden. It’s okay if a birthday feels bittersweet. It’s okay if it brings tears instead of laughter. What matters is finding ways of marking the day that feel true to you — not pressured by others, not polished for show.
Not every birthday feels like a celebration — and that’s okay.
Therapy and Reflection
In therapy, birthdays and anniversaries often surface as tender points of pain. But they can also become points of meaning — places to reflect, to grieve, and to allow yourself compassion – and to remember you’re not alone in feeling this way.
