Should you start therapy?
Many people wonder if they’re ready for therapy. Sometimes it’s asked in doubt — “What if I’m not open enough?” Other times it’s driven by pressure — “I should be in therapy by now.”
The truth is, therapy isn’t about passing a test or ticking a box. It’s about timing, readiness, and what feels possible for you right now.
Back in the 1960s, psychologist Carl Rogers described something called the Seven Stages of Process — a way of understanding how open or closed someone might feel when entering therapy. It sounds technical, but really, it’s about this: how much do you want to be here, and how much are you ready to share?
The Seven Stages in Practice
Here’s an overview of the 7 Stages of Process:
Stage 1–2:
Resistant, Closed, or Forced
Carl’s words: rigid, unwilling to communicate, defensive.
In practice: this might look like being sent to therapy by someone else — a workplace, family member, or court order. You show up, but you don’t really want to be there. Sessions can feel flat, like going through the motions.
Stage 3–4:
Testing the Waters
Carl’s words: some openness, limited awareness of feelings.
In practice: you talk about safe topics — work, daily stresses — but avoid the deeper feelings. It’s not a failure; it’s how safety builds. Sometimes it takes weeks before trust grows enough to go deeper.
Stage 5–6:
Beginning to Open
Carl’s words: describing feelings, loosening of rigidity, willingness to explore self.
In practice: this is where you begin to say, “Actually, I feel…” and risk sharing what’s under the surface. It can feel messy or emotional, but that’s often a sign of growth.
Stage 7:
Living Authentically
Carl’s words: fluidity, openness, integration.
In practice: therapy begins to spill into daily life. You notice yourself being more honest with others, trusting your own decisions, and carrying therapy outside the room.
What This Means for You
The stages aren’t a grading system. You don’t “pass” or “fail.” They’re simply a way of noticing where you are in your readiness.
- If you’re at Stage 1–2, therapy might feel pointless right now — and that’s okay. Readiness takes time.
- If you’re in Stage 3–4, you may feel cautious but curious. This is often where meaningful work begins.
- If you’re in Stage 5–7, you may already be leaning into change — therapy can deepen that process.
Therapy isn’t about being ready in the perfect way. It’s about starting from where you are.
A Human Reminder
There isn’t a single “right” time for therapy. Sometimes it works straight away; other times you might step back and return later when it feels more possible.
Therapy can meet you in different stages — but your readiness will shape how it feels.
The right time for therapy is the time you choose to begin.
There’s no harm in starting therapy and then saying – i’m not ready for this yet – that shows great self-awareness.
