Is there more than the two of us here?
Who else is listening in?
When you picture therapy, what comes to mind?
A quiet room. Two chairs. A door that closes behind you. Confidentiality — not just as a promise, but as a felt sense of safety.
Now, move that same session online. The screen lights up, the voices carry across Wi-Fi, and suddenly there are more variables to consider. You still expect privacy — but who else might be listening?
This isn’t a scare story. It’s about awareness. Because in the digital age, the “third person in the room” isn’t always human.
At a glance
- Tech is so common place in our lives but as it’s connected to the internet – and awareness is key.
- Smart Devices: Voice assistants and “always-on” tech may capture parts of your session.
- Shared Accounts: Family or work devices can store, sync, or leak session history.
- Targeted Ads: Conversations may fuel uncanny adverts across apps and platforms.
Smart speakers, phones, tablets, even your TV — all of them are built to respond when you call their name. “Hey Siri.” “Alexa.” “OK Google.” But to hear those magic words, they’re always listening first.
That’s not paranoia, it’s how the technology works. And while manufacturers insist your conversations aren’t stored until you trigger the wake word, we’ve all had moments where an advert pops up uncannily close to what we’ve just been talking about.
It can feel like magic. It isn’t. It’s data collection.
Therapy should never feel like an algorithmic advert waiting to happen. It should feel like what it is: your space, your voice, your time.
To me whether in person or online – we create that safe space for you – it’s why we discuss the potential pitfalls of the third person in the room.
Why It Matters in Therapy
Therapy isn’t like chatting about holidays or groceries. What you share may be raw, personal, or vulnerable. Imagine scrolling later that evening, only to see adverts tied to grief counselling, sexuality, or medical products — all echoing themes from your session.
It doesn’t just feel intrusive. It chips away at trust. If therapy is meant to be a private space for reflection, even the suspicion of “leakage” can make you hold back.
And here’s the heart of it, therapy works best when you don’t have to second-guess who’s listening.
My Side of the Space
I can’t control what’s happening in your living room, but I can guarantee how things are managed on mine.
At Safe Spaces Therapy Online, every part of the system is chosen for security:
- Encrypted platforms — I don’t use mass-market video call apps that compromise data.
- GDPR compliance — Servers and storage are within UK/EU frameworks, protecting your rights under law.
- Offline safeguards — I don’t have Alexa, Google, or Siri devices running in my workspace. The environment is intentionally tech-minimal so that our conversation stays between us.
- Confidential workflow — Notes are coded, files are separated, and nothing is stored in the cloud without strong encryption.
This is my baseline. Because the container matters.
Your Side of the Space
Here’s where the partnership comes in. When you’re the one setting up your side of the session, a few small choices can make a big difference.
- Smart devices: If you’ve got Alexa, Siri, or similar within earshot, put them in do not disturb/privacy mode, or switch them off or unplug them before session.
- Shared devices: If you’re using a family computer, check what other accounts are logged in. Work laptops especially may have background monitoring.
- Headphones: These don’t just improve sound quality — they stop voices carrying to anyone else in the household.
- Doors and boundaries: Simple, but powerful. Close the door, claim your time, and let others know not to disturb you.
These aren’t rules. They’re invitations to strengthen the container — so your space is as intentional as mine.
The “Third Person” Metaphor
Traditionally, therapists talk about a “third presence” in the room: the relationship itself. Online, there’s often another third presence — technology. Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it’s a silent risk.
Think of it this way: therapy used to depend on whether the walls had ears. Now it depends on whether the devices do.
That doesn’t mean we should be afraid of technology. It means we approach it with the same clarity and boundaries we use everywhere else in therapy.
Awareness is the safeguard here — not fear. Technology isn’t the enemy. But silence, naivety, or dismissal? Those can be dangerous.
I always think we work best with informed consent, so we understand the what and why, but it’s your space and your in charge of it.
Beyond Fear: Towards Empowerment
I’ve been in enough spaces — queer spaces, community spaces, therapy spaces — to know that safety is never automatic. It has to be created.
This doesn’t mean banning technology or imagining surveillance at every turn. It means giving clients the knowledge and the choice. Because power lies in awareness.
If you know the risks, you can manage them. If you know the options, you can choose what’s right for you. And if you know your therapist has their side covered, you don’t have to carry the worry alone.
A Shared Responsibility
Ethics don’t stop at the edge of my screen. They extend into how you’re supported in shaping your own environment. This is part of why I built Safe Spaces Therapy Online the way I did — not as a portal you drop into, but as a collaboration.
- I protect the container here.
- You protect the container there.
- Together, we create the space where therapy can actually do its work.
It’s mutual respect. It’s transparency. And it’s trust, built not on assumption but on action.
Now you know we live in a world where smart devices are sold as companions. But therapy doesn’t need extra company.
What it needs is clarity, trust, and space that feels truly yours.
So next time you sit down for an online session, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Who else might be listening?
And then, with awareness in place, settle in — because this space belongs to you.
