Finding Balance in your Life
A balanced day – week – an ideal?
We live in a world that glorifies hustle and treats exhaustion like achievement. Balance, if mentioned at all, is often packaged as luxury — something you earn once everything else is done. But what if balance isn’t a luxury? What if it’s the foundation everything else depends on?
The 8+8+8 Rule offers a simple starting point. Twenty-four hours in a day. Eight hours for work, eight for rest, eight for everything else that makes life feel human. It’s neat maths, but the truth behind it runs deeper. Balance isn’t about clock management — it’s about rhythm.
At a glance
- Balance isn’t about perfection — it’s about rhythm, intention, and noticing when things drift.
- The 8+8+8 idea offers a simple framework: 8 hours for work, 8 for rest, and 8 for living — adaptable to real life, not a rigid schedule.
- Therapy helps people find balance not through strict routines, but through awareness, flexibility, and permission to pause.
- True balance is personal — it changes with needs, seasons, and circumstances. The goal is harmony, not symmetry.
- A balanced life feels lived, not measured — created through purpose, rest, and genuine connection.
The First 8: Work That Has Meaning
Work isn’t just what we get paid for. It’s the energy we give — to jobs, to care, to survival, to showing up. It’s emotional labour, invisible effort, and the constant turning of mental gears. The first “8” isn’t only about productivity; it’s about purpose.
The Work–Rest–Play triangle describes this perfectly: when one side dominates, the whole structure collapses. Too much work and rest erodes. Too much rest and purpose wanes. Too much play without grounding can drift into avoidance. Balance doesn’t mean equal parts every day — it means knowing which side needs attention right now.
Work becomes sustainable when it connects to meaning — when it aligns with something larger than the to-do list. It doesn’t have to be a dream job. It just needs to feel worth your energy.
The Second 8: Rest That Actually Restores
Rest is often misunderstood. It’s not laziness, it’s repair. And yet, in a culture wired to constant alertness, true rest can feel rebellious.
We scroll before bed, wake up to notifications, and confuse collapsing with resting. But rest isn’t absence — it’s active restoration. It’s what brings the nervous system back into its Window of Tolerance — that middle ground between hyper-alert and shut-down.
When we live outside that window for too long, everything becomes distorted: emotions spike, focus fragments, patience shortens. Rest isn’t optional maintenance; it’s how we stay human.
Rest might mean sleep, silence, stillness — or simply lowering sensory input for a while. It’s not always calm candles and perfect playlists. Sometimes it’s closing the laptop, breathing, and letting your shoulders drop.
The Third 8: Connection, Care, and Meaning
The last “8” belongs to life itself — the relationships, passions, and values that round out existence beyond productivity.
The original idea splits this time into the 3Fs, 3Hs, and 3Ss:
- Family, Friends, Faith.
- Health Hygiene, Hobby.
- Soul, Service, Smile.
It’s not a checklist, but a compass. Some days, the balance leans toward care — cooking for someone you love. Other days, toward solitude — tending your own peace.
What matters is that the “third 8” reminds us we are more than workers or resters. We are connectors, creators, and participants in something bigger. Therapy often helps people reconnect with this part — the life beyond coping.
A balanced day isn’t split by the clock, but by intention — what you give to others, and what you keep for yourself.
Everyone has different wants, needs, demands on their life, so everyone sense of balance is different – but find what works for you.
The Imperfect Maths of Real Life
Of course, real life doesn’t follow clean divisions. Some days are all work and no play; others are chaos disguised as rest. The 8+8+8 rule isn’t about perfection. It’s about reference — a rhythm to return to when life skews out of sync.
Think of it like tuning an instrument. The strings will drift. Life’s noise will bend the sound. But every so often, you pause, listen, and bring it back into harmony.
Therapy often begins here — helping people notice not just what’s wrong, but what’s missing. Too much doing, not enough being. Too much holding, not enough rest. Balance isn’t a prize you achieve; it’s a practice you maintain.
The Whole Picture: From Survival to Self
If you zoom out, the 8+8+8 rhythm echoes something ancient: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Each layer of life depends on the others.
- Work supports safety and stability — the base needs of food, shelter, and security.
- Rest restores the body and mind — the physiological foundation of survival.
- Connection nurtures belonging, meaning, and purpose — the upper layers that make life feel worth living.
When one layer is neglected, the others strain. You can’t build meaning on exhaustion, or rest easily if survival feels uncertain. Balance isn’t about dividing your time evenly; it’s about tending to all your needs collectively.
“Think of the 8+8+8 rule as Maslow in motion — not a schedule, but a system for wholeness.”
A Balanced Life – Isn’t a Perfect Life – But it’s close
A balanced life doesn’t mean every day looks perfect. Some weeks the maths won’t add up, and that’s okay. What matters is noticing when your rhythm slips, and giving yourself permission to adjust.
Balance isn’t found in the middle — it’s created through movement, reflection, and care.
So if you take one thing from this:
- Let the 8+8+8 rule be your gentle recalibration.
- Work with purpose. Rest with presence. Connect with meaning.
And remember — life doesn’t demand perfection. It asks only for rhythm.
