Where does one world start and the other stop
Tech opened the doors wider – but blurred boundaries more
When therapy moved online, the walls of the room dissolved. Suddenly the boundaries once framed by a door, a clock and a chair became pixels, notifications and Wi-Fi signals. Technology widened access — but it also blurred the edges.
Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re what make safety possible. The same is true in the digital world. Whether we’re sharing, moderating, posting or messaging, the question is the same: how do we stay human when the medium never sleeps?
At a glance
- Online therapy connects us across distance — but it also adds a new presence: the digital one.
- Boundaries online aren’t just practical; they’re ethical. They protect both privacy and emotional safety.
- Digital disinhibition and overexposure can blur lines — clear agreements and secure systems restore trust.
- Therapists act as digital gatekeepers, holding both the human and the technical boundaries of care.
- True connection in online therapy comes from presence, not proximity — it’s about being grounded, not just online.
The Third Presence in the Room
Even when therapy happens one-to-one on screen, there’s always a third presence: the platform. Zoom, email, cloud storage, smart devices — each one quietly sits beside us. They witness more than we realise.
That’s why digital and human boundaries belong together. What happens on a device affects what happens inside us. A phone on the desk can pull attention just as easily as a thought that won’t settle.
Always remember, every device in the room holds a kind of presence — one we have to learn to manage, not ignore.
When Connection Becomes Exposure
Online therapy opened the door for people who once couldn’t access help at all. But connection and exposure are two sides of the same coin. The more connected we are, the easier it is to forget how visible we’ve become.
In community spaces I’ve moderated, even trained therapists sometimes forgot the line between professional and personal. A small vent post turned public, or a teaching story edged too close to real lives. Technology amplifies everything — empathy and ego alike. The speed of a click can outpace the reflective pause that containment needs.
Why Digital Boundaries Matter
Boundaries aren’t about control; they’re about containment. In therapy, they stop one person’s pain from flooding the other. Online, they stop information and emotion from leaking where they don’t belong.
Setting a password is no different in spirit from closing the therapy door. Using encrypted storage mirrors keeping paper notes locked away. Turning off notifications mirrors taking a breath between sessions.
Digital safety isn’t technical; it’s ethical. It’s how we show respect for the people who trust us.
I work with people’s information, so I keep it as secure as I’d want my own to be. I use an encrypted, air-gapped drive for identifiable data, ciphered identifiers for anonymous notes (the cipher itself stays offline, locked away), and encrypted virtual drives and emails for everything else.
Lessons From the Digital Frontline
Before founding Safe Spaces Therapy Online, I spent years running large digital communities — tens of thousands of therapists learning together. I’ve seen what happens when boundaries collapse: compassion fatigue, hostility, breaches of trust that spread faster than they can be repaired.
I’ve also seen the opposite: spaces that thrive because someone holds the frame. Rules are clear, privacy non-negotiable. People breathe easier when they know the space is tended.
That experience shaped everything about how I work now. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s integrity. I don’t promise 24/7 access or endless flexibility. I promise presence within limits — because that’s what keeps everyone safe.
The Therapist as Digital Gatekeeper
Every practitioner working online becomes, in part, a systems designer. We decide which platforms to trust, where to store material, how to communicate, and when to switch off. Each decision is an act of ethics.
If a platform can’t guarantee confidentiality, it doesn’t belong in my practice. Privacy isn’t an optional extra; it’s a prerequisite for trust.
When Humans Blur the Lines
The challenge isn’t only technical — sometimes it’s us. We check messages between sessions, answer “just one quick email,” or scroll after midnight looking for connection because the day felt heavy.
Technology tempts us to stay on. But presence loses quality when it loses limits. In therapy, we need endings so integration can happen. Online, we need digital endings too — closing the laptop, stepping away from the screen, reclaiming our own nervous system.
Being always available isn’t the same as being fully present.
I’m human and have different responsibilities. Saying I can give 100% all the time wouldn’t be honest — what happens when I’m with another client, or caring for my family? That’s why I keep a two-working-day response time. It means when I do reply, you have my full attention.
Re-Humanising the Digital
Healthy digital boundaries don’t make therapy colder; they make it safer. They remind us that behind every message is a nervous system, behind every file a life story.
The task isn’t to strip the human out of the digital — it’s to keep the human intact inside it. That means speaking online as if the person were in front of you, pausing before you post, and remembering that privacy is empathy in practice.
When we hold the digital world with care, it becomes an extension of the therapeutic one — not a distortion of it.
Holding Both Worlds
Therapists today live in two rooms at once: the physical and the digital. The skill is learning to hold both without letting either erode the other.
For me, Safe Spaces Therapy Online is that bridge — a practice built on the belief that technology and humanity can coexist when boundaries are clear and values stay central. Digital systems make therapy accessible. Human boundaries make it ethical. We need both.
Technology widens access. Boundaries make it safe.
Online therapy has opened new ways to connect and support people — but it also asks for skill and structure. Always make sure you’re working with someone trained in online practice, not just online presence.
At Safe Spaces Therapy Online, digital security and human connection go hand in hand. Every platform, boundary and pause is chosen to protect what matters most — your privacy, your story, and your space to breathe.
