Who are you? A label or You?
Throughout life, we collect labels — some chosen, some given. ‘Autistic.’ ‘Gay.’ ‘Survivor.’ ‘Sensitive.’ Labels can feel like lifelines. But they can also become cages.
A label can explain part of you. But it can never define all of you.
When someone asks you who are you – what labels do you use? I know i could give a list, but my best one is i’m Charlie.
The Acceptance Cycle
From my experience, labels play a part of an acceptance cycle.
- Confusion — “Why do I feel so different?”
- Discovery — “This label explains so much.”
- Immersion — diving deep, sometimes making the label your whole identity.
- Integration — the label softens into one part of you, not the whole story.
Sometimes, immersion can feel all-consuming. That’s natural — it’s part of claiming an identity that once felt out of reach. But staying there too long can feel limiting. Therapy can support you in moving toward integration, where the label informs you without restricting you.
When Labels Clash With Lived Experience
Labels bring clarity, but also conflict. Others may expect you to “fit” their version. For example, someone autistic and shaped by trauma may express traits differently from peers. That doesn’t make their experience invalid — it makes it unique.
This isn’t limited to neurodiversity. Across race, sexuality, and gender, people may hear:
“You’re not enough of this.”
“You don’t do it right.”
Identity is never a competition. A label should open doors, not close them.
Belonging Beyond Labels
Labels can connect us to communities — but community itself has a double edge. It heals when it welcomes, and harms when it policies.
Moving Beyond Labels
Labels can give language and connection, but you are always more than a word. Therapy creates space to honour labels without being trapped by them — to integrate them into your whole self.
Your story isn’t wrong because it doesn’t match someone else’s. It’s still your truth.
You are not your label. You are the story beneath it — complex, contradictory, and whole.
At the end of it all, the truest statement isn’t a label at all. It’s simply: I am.