is time always the same – or does it change?
Time – is it felt or measured?
Time isn’t just measured by clocks — it’s felt in the body.
Some days it rushes by in a blur; others, it drags, stretching like elastic. And sometimes, it does both at once — fast outside, frozen inside.
Our relationship with time reveals more than schedules or routines. It tells us how safe we feel, how our nervous system is coping, and how our brain processes the world.
Sometimes adapting our pacing is needed, slowing down isn’t laziness; it’s recalibration. Sometimes the best way to move forward is to pause long enough to feel where you are.
At a glance
- Time isn’t only measured by clocks — it’s felt in the body. Stress, joy, and fatigue all shape how quickly or slowly it seems to pass.
- The nervous system is our internal timekeeper; when we’re regulated, moments flow, and when we’re overwhelmed, time can fragment or rush.
- Neurodivergent minds often experience time differently — deadlines can blur, urgency can vanish, or everything can feel simultaneous.
- Therapy helps reconnect body and mind, so time feels more lived than lost — turning awareness into steadiness.
When Time Speeds Up or Slows Down
Think about how a minute feels when you’re waiting for bad news versus watching someone you love walk toward you. Same sixty seconds — completely different experience.
That’s because time perception isn’t fixed. It’s shaped by our internal state. When we’re anxious or hypervigilant, our attention sharpens and time feels faster, even overwhelming. When we’re low or disconnected, time slows, stretching under the weight of fatigue or apathy.
Therapy often helps people learn to read this: how stress speeds up thought, how grief thickens time, how trauma fractures it into “before” and “after.”
The Nervous System’s Clock
Your nervous system is like a timekeeper — it sets the rhythm of your experience.
When you’re regulated, your internal clock synchronises with what’s happening around you.
When you’re stressed, anxious, or shut down, the tempo changes.
- Fight or flight accelerates time — your brain prioritises survival over reflection.
- Freeze or shutdown slows it down — your body conserves energy and numbs awareness.
- Flow or presence balances both — you’re alert but steady, immersed rather than rushing.
It’s not imagination; it’s biology. The vagus nerve, limbic system, and prefrontal cortex constantly negotiate what pace feels “safe.” That’s why therapy and grounding work often focus on rhythm — breathing, pacing, and sensory awareness all help bring time back into sync.
Neurodiversity and the Tempo of Life
Not everyone experiences time in the same way. For many neurodivergent people — autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, or otherwise wired differently — time perception can be uniquely fluid. For example:
- Deadlines might feel abstract until they’re urgent.
- Five minutes can vanish or expand.
- Hyperfocus can make hours disappear, while transitions feel impossible.
For some, calm doesn’t mean slowing down. It means finding the right pace for their nervous system.
“If I watch something at normal speed, it’s a recipe for distraction. At 1.5–2×, I actually learn — because my brain and body process faster. Slower pacing leaves space for distraction.”
That insight flips the usual assumption that calm equals slow. For some of us, regulation means matching the mind’s rhythm, not forcing it into someone else’s. Therapy can help you understand your natural tempo and work with it — rather than pathologizing it.
Trauma, Memory, and Temporal Distortion
Trauma distorts time more than almost anything else. A traumatic moment can feel like it’s still happening years later — or like it happened to someone else entirely. That’s the nervous system trying to protect you, keeping the event in “active memory” so you can stay alert for danger.
In therapy, integrating trauma often feels like reclaiming your timeline — bringing the past back into the past and reconnecting with the present. You’re not “stuck” because you’re weak. You’re stuck because your body still believes it’s now.
The Human Sense of Timing
Our perception of time is shaped by many things: hormones, dopamine levels, environment, even light exposure. But at its core, time is a mirror of attention. When attention narrows under stress, time warps. When attention expands in curiosity or safety, it evens out.
That’s why mindfulness isn’t just about slowing down — it’s about noticing the moment you’re in without trying to change it.
And why grounding isn’t just a relaxation exercise — it’s a recalibration of your internal clock.
A Personal Note
On a recent trip to Copenhagen, a friend tried to help me slow down — giving me long stretches of rest between activities. But I realised something: my “relaxed” pace is naturally faster. Between neurodiversity and trauma, stillness can sometimes feel like stagnation, not peace.
I even visited a zoo — usually a grounding place for me — but the pacing was slower, more like a park than a space alive with movement. Instead of soothing me, it drained my energy. That experience reminded me that balance doesn’t always mean stillness. Sometimes it means movement at the right tempo.
The Therapy Lens
In therapy, time is part of the process.
- Each session has its own rhythm — sometimes fast and full, sometimes slow and reflective.
- Breaks between sessions allow integration, while patterns of lateness, rushing, or overthinking can reveal how we relate to time itself.
For some clients, even the waiting between appointments is therapeutic — it becomes a container for reflection rather than avoidance.
Time as a Mirror
Time doesn’t just pass. It reflects. It mirrors our nervous system, our pace, our presence, and our pain.
- When it feels too fast, it might be asking for grounding.
- When it feels too slow, it might be asking for stimulation.
- When it feels fractured, it might be asking for compassion.
Therapy doesn’t change the clock — it helps you change your relationship with it. To stop fighting the tempo, and start finding your rhythm again.
